They're using the name Sovereign to distract from the fact that it's the opposite of sovereign.

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It's old school Sovereign. You know, where the Sovereign gets to take your stuff...

can you ELI5 what this “rollup” is actually doing?

It's sovereign because it's neither a sidechain nor L2 but a completely independent alt chain dumping block data to Bitcoin. Mastercoin 3,0 or is it 4,0 now?

There's a bunch of Consensys funded stuff happening if you haven't noticed.

have no idea what any of this is

Buzzwords seem lacking. It would sound better as zero knowledge self sovereign sharded roll-ups or something similar.

Maybe add a “censorship resistance” tag too.

It's self-sovereign as in independent, having nothing to do with the underlying Bitcoin other than using it for storage.

Another name for that is parasitic.