Nostr’s model is relay-centric and user-driven, while Pubky’s is DHT-centric and infrastructure-driven. Both allow for decentralization, but the locus of control — explicit relay choice versus implicit DHT routing — differs fundamentally.

The ease of spinning up relays in Nostr empowers users to shape the network’s decentralization, provided they take advantage of this flexibility. In Pubky, decentralization is inherent due to the DHT, but user control is more abstracted. Ultimately, both systems benefit from low barriers to node participation, but the practical degree of decentralization depends on how users and operators engage with these options

I'd love to dig deeper but you left me hanging with the invite code, so there's that.