Empathy, it’s the ability to deeply understand the experience of another. This is wildly important, the insight it gives you is immense, and when people lack empathy they become sociopaths, and then they are incapable of empathy they are psychopaths.

But can someone have too much empathy? Kinda, not really. Empathy is, sort of, it's complicated, an emotion, and emotions are simply messengers, they give you insight into yourself and the world around you. Emotions are amazing messengers and poor decision makers.

Another common emotion is anger. Anger is very important, it warns you when your boundaries are being violated, it’s a defensive emotion. Anger is always something you need to listen to, but not what should be making your decisions. It’s our job, as mature adults, to gather the information that we get from emotions, consider it, and then make a thoughtful decision on how to act.

Unless an emotion is so intense that it cripples you, I wouldn’t say that someone has too much of an emotion, but, you need to be able to process your emotions and use them to inform your decisions rather than to lead your decisions.

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My understanding has always been that many psychopaths do have empathy. And they use this to their advantage to manipulate people, especially because they don’t care about your feelings.

On empathy more generally…..cognitive empathy is the important one. This is what is displayed by many nurses, police officers etc…..where they have a full understanding of what the person needs and delivers it in a very practical way, professionally and without a massive display of emotion. Some people mistake this for being “cold”.

The other form of empathy is not as useful, is less selfless and results in people sending teddy bears to disaster incidents.

All of the above is relevant.

psychopaths literally have different brains and are not capable of understanding others in the way that most people can. Not all psychopaths are bad people, they can be functioning members of society, but the majority of serial killers are psychopaths.

Being able to feel what another person is feeling is a super power for insight. Not processing those feelings and using those feelings to inform rather than lead a decision is an error that can lead to lots of problems.

I have learned in the last few years that this notion of empathy as deep understanding of another's experience is a bit of a divergent viewpoint.

there is a more pragmatic definition of empathy- that is is the expression in the moment of that understanding, via word, tone, body language, eye contact,etc. This definition places the emphasis on the communication and timeliness it as a kind of shared explosional recognition

This is how many people who in fact have a deep well of internal feeling, understanding, etc may nevertheless less fail at being percieved as empathetic- because to fail in the timely successful expression is tantamount to the same thing from a relational standpoint.

Ya I can see that. You can be empathetic but not be perceived as empathetic. it is good to develop solid enough social skills to be able to communicate empathy!

I think empathy is the ability to vicariously experience (and anticipate?) some portion or analogue of another entity's emotions (and react in appropriate ways?).

Notice those parenthesized clauses?

I think that common parlance often makes or ignores those subordinate aspects depending on whether it suits their thesis at the moment that they're using or considering using the term.