a payment channel on LN is just a 2 of 2 mainchain multisig. it doesn't go away if the node is onffline.

either party can unilaterally close the channel and get their sats back.

there are literally hundreds of articles, guides and howtos on LN self custody.

if you dont believe it exists, its a You Problem.

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I don't get what "either party" means but I definitely don't see how what you're saying would add up to me being able to receive coins at a lightning channel with a node that's not online

Also not getting what you mean by "close the channel and get their sats back"

Sounds like a transaction with a fee, but that can't be it because that would mean it's not self custody, as I've been saying