i am still so not caught up with my sleep, and i feel so fatigued all the time. i'm doing too much work, and i think what is happening is i'm burning out.

i'm not feeling bad, particularly, but i can feel it that my brain is not working properly. it's working well enough to get by, mostly, but i can also point to some very sluggish healing of small injuries i've sustained in the last three weeks.

i am going to have to put my foot down.

tomorrow, i'm going to just force myself to sleep and, and when i wake up, i'm not getting up except to eat and toilet. i'm not turning on my computer, and i'm not turning on my phone. the power in my room is going to stay off.

probably if i just finally catch up with my sleep, and am not waking up with sandpaper eyes, and just strictly enrforce that on the weekend, i don't use any devices, or even turn them on.

i don't feel like i'm running off the rails, particularly, but i can feel that i'm losing my grip.

so, in case anyone is wondering, i wanted to let you know why i'm incommunicado.

i gotta sleep.

i'm not fully here right now, and haven't been for maybe 2 weeks.

even though i have been writing so much, i'm in some kind of half-dream kinda state.

i'm over it.

feels like watching a slow motion train wreck.

the loco needs to be put in for service.