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DagzTagz 6mo ago

Random GM math thoughts over ☕️

My friends are forever trying to convince me that polyamory is the key to fulfilling adult relationships & this truly seems to be working well for them as an outside observer

But I really think these preference have to do with deep seeded neural wiring because I, personally,

1) have extremely singular tastes… the people I have dated have always been rare 1-of-1’s and finding 2 at once seems mathematically improbable

2) the idea of the person I’m in love with having sex with someone else makes me want to die 6 million sequential heart wrenching deaths instead of enduring that (and this person is hypothetical and made up in my head currently so imagine if they were real)

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node 6mo ago

Totally agree with you. Seems like a terrible idea

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Kamo Weasel 6mo ago

I believe the only way to achieve a good relationship is to love the other person the same way you love yourself. To wish them the best while wishing it for yourself. That means respecting freedom, commitment, projects, sometimes even involving being apart and together at the same time.

This crystal generation is like a microwave. It wants everything now and ready. The things that really matter in life take time and effort.

Have a great day Brie ☕🙃

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DagzTagz 6mo ago

I agree! Especially about the part of being together and apart at the same time… the person I most recently dated was a v high performer and his work requires more travel than anyone I’ve ever met (which meant I lived out of a suitcase sometimes and/or went weeks on end without seeing him) I really liked him and he really liked me and we had to figure out the way to make exactly what you said work… being together, apart.

Ultimately, we weren’t in love though and I think love is the glue that binds in those situations to your point- commitment and loving the way you’d want yourself loved :) and being willing to release that which is not meant for you once you know that truth

You have a great day too! ☕️

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Kamo Weasel 6mo ago

Great toughts, great people... This is NOSTR

☕⚡😸

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Kingbee 6mo ago

Can't say what works for everyone, but I'm a monogamy guy. My heart still pounds when I look into BitBees eyes.

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The Bird 6mo ago

I'm the same with my wife. I have been extremely blessed with my wife and she is great mother and friend. I bounced around a lot before but only ever wanted to marry the one I'm married to.

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MAHDOOD 6mo ago

GM. The main benefit of monogamy is that it can provide a stable and healthy environment for raising children. The benefit of polyamory is that it provides variety which can keep relationships exciting. The human brain is constantly looking for novelty and we are wired to reproduce with different partners. It’s an evolutionary instinct that increases the chances of offspring survival. If you had all of your children with a genetically weak man, and you committed to him, your offspring may die and you may miss the chance to pass down your own genetics.

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DagzTagz 6mo ago

I do see your points and they like up with outdated neuroscientific findings- but,

To argue that humans are neurobiologically wired for one specific outcome (in this instance reproduction) is a misnomer and doesn’t match with current research (also, I front ran some of this research in 2019 so I’m about as sure of it as one can be in the world of $cience)

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MAHDOOD 6mo ago

Where did i argue that humans are wired for one specific outcome?

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DagzTagz 6mo ago

>the human brain is wired for novelty and we are wired to reproduce with different partners

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MAHDOOD 6mo ago

Being wired that way doesn’t mean we can’t overcome any specific outcomes. Understanding this wiring can actually help you to stay monogamous by the way. Creating novelty in a monogamous relationship can help you avoid polyamory.

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DagzTagz 6mo ago

Agree on that point 🤝

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🇵🇸 whoever loves Digit 6mo ago

I thought polyamory was a good idea until after my first relationship

I've slowly accumulated a longer and longer list of women who got close with me and then ended up hating me and deciding to make me watch them all get killed by retards, so on any given day I could find out one of them is dead and the "hoping things get better" part of life is over and it's time for the "killing everyone I can and dying" chapter

I keep hoping that before any of them die, one of them changes her mind about me again and decides we should try to survive together so that she's the only one I need alive and she can give me something better to do than kill everyone if one of the others dies

If I had one of these, and then a second woman asked me to go back to having more than 1 woman I can't handle losing, I'd be like, what the fuck, please stop

And I don't know if I could even handle like, a friend with benefits or something on the side of the main relationship, without it becoming another woman I can't handle losing

I think maybe polyamory is good for people who are better at distracting themselves from how terrified they are of dying and how sad it is that people are dead

But I also think people are way too distracted from this stuff overall so maybe polyamory isn't good for anyone and those people should also be focused on remembering how scary dying is

Idk, thanks for coming to my Ted talk

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Universal Bunny 6mo ago

If they are trying to convince you, then they doth protest too much.

I have poly friends, but I don't try to convert them, they don't try to convert me.

Everyone should do what works for them but be upfront with themselves and their partners.

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Weatherall 6mo ago