Private posts are completely possible on nostr.

The author of the private post would keep a list of people (call it their “circle” maybe), and they share a decryption key with everyone on this list.

There just hasn’t been an NIP describing an ideal flow yet

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Sounds pretty close to NIP 24 maybe?

https://github.com/nostr-protocol/nips/pull/686

That's the group chat I mentioned.

NIP 87 is also being worked on for larger groups.