the amount of time I want to spend thinking about inbox or outbox relays:

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node gets it

Keep it simple is key

I always think the main problem of relay is the slow performance.

It’s simply because the more people using the same relay , the more traffic and heavy the capacity and it slow down the relay .

I could be wrong .

it should be standard that in order to follow a npub, you should be required to pay 21 sats or less