Zapping over Tor is very inconsistent. Any ideas how one might use Tailscale AND Mullvad VPN in tandem on graphene?

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You could setup a work profile and use Tailscale in that, but traffic wouldn't go over Mullvad anymore for it.

No way to tunnelt Tailscale traffic through an always-on VPN on mobile, sadly.

Why can't you expose your node gRPC or REST API over clearnet and connect via Mullvad?

I'm going to try this and zap you through the new setup ⚡

Having a hard time finding a route. Moar channels! ⚡

Up until now I've been fixated on using only Tor for some reason.

If you're running your own node and using Zeus as your wallet, you can connect via Lightning Node Connect.

You can read about it here: https://docs.lightning.engineering/lightning-network-tools/lightning-terminal/lightning-node-connect

Basically you create an encrypted tunnel which lets you connect to your node outside of Tor, so it's super fast. There is sort of a third-party mailbox server in the middle but everything is enceypted.