I WRITE FAST FICTION

Because it used to be that you’d buy some Pulp from Southern Cross to read on the long ride home down the Sandringham Line.

But not now, man.

Now we have Fast Fiction. Coz we’re living in the digital age. This is the internet of THINGS.

We want our stories punchy and we want them relevant and we want them now.

And they have to be in the feed, man. Because it’s not real unless it’s in the feed.

And plus that’s where everybody’s at these days. Nobody’s hanging out analogue anymore.

And it’s no use writing about something that happened last year. That’s done, that’s over. That’s yesterday’s news and nobody wants to know about it. The Modern World exists in a 24 hour News Cycle.

So it’s Fiction, but Fast.

That’s why I smoke cigarettes and write stories on my iPhone. Because from my small island nation I can reach the world.

And at first I found it strange that my Australian-Centric Semi-Fiction got shared internationally. I was surprised that people in New Zealand, Canada, America, and the UK, related to what I was saying.

But now I know why.

Global corporations are working with national governments to control Western citizens.

And for some reason most companies are owned by Blackrock.

And for some reason it’s beneficial to Blackrock if you cut off your dick and become a communist.

And they’re also trying to put fake indigenous people in power.

And speech is being censored like never before.

Weak people get off on the thought of the government controlling what we say. But those of us who are capable and intelligent know that that’s a slippery slope.

And plus we don’t want the government interfering in our lives.

And I think we all owe a debt of gratitude to Elon Musk for paying $44 billion to save free speech. Without him we would still be living in 2021 where the truth was silenced.

Now on Twitter we can actually have conversations and, finally, people can say things that are controversial.

So I write Fast Fiction.

And it makes some people mad.

But they don’t understand that I just write shit I think is funny.

And when some blue haired they/them gets triggered it makes my day.

I think that communists will destroy Australia.

I think Lidia Thorpe is a terrorist.

I think Louis CK is funny and I think COVID was a scam.

I just want to move to the Cayman Islands to pay no tax and leave Albo behind me.

But my wife won’t let me so I need an outlet.

That’s why I write Fast Fiction.