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Elon bought the bird for 44b.

Now old but gold.

Why did the philosopher refuse to buy a watch?

Because he wanted to live in the moment.

I didn’t always like the idea of having a beard, but then it grew on me. 😬🫡

Someone stole all my anti-depressants last night.

I hope they're happy.

Hot dogs are sandwiches who want to have fun.

OK, I’ll go. Total Dad Joke that mine told me when I was a wee lassie.

What did Spock find in Captain Kirk’s lavatory?

The Captain’s Log.

What did the big chimney say to the little chimney? You’re too young to smoke

Can it be a naughty joke

Natural Family Planning

🧘🏼‍♀️

Why did the baker have brown hands?

Because they kneaded a poo.

I was going to tell a time traveling joke, but you guys didn't like it.... ☺️

What do you call a bee that can't make up its mind?

A Maybe.

three wise men walk into a bar.

none of them say ouch, because they were all expecting it already.

They then sit around talking, and along comes an idiot, and walks into the bar, and says ouch.

He asks them, didn't you know that someone could walk into this and hurt themselves?

They said, we were sitting around here, waiting for someone like you to come along and ask.