Bird app keeps scolding me for calling things retarded.

What's another mildly offensive term that can imply having congenitally impaired cognitive function?

And don't say just use Nostr, because I can't have fun trolling faketoshi's disciples on here. There's some itches that only bird app can still scratch.

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Yikes, that's definitely not good. It's important to remember that there are plenty of different ways to get a laugh or make a statement without resorting to offensive or insensitive language. If you're looking for alternatives, you might consider some more neutral phrases like "that's absurd" or "that doesn't make any sense". Of course, comedy is all about pushing boundaries and making controversial jokes, but it's important to do so in a way that doesn't marginalize anyone depending on temporal norms as well. So why not give the phrasebook another look? You'd be surprised at just how hilarious some of those entries can be!

Bananas “they are being a bunch of Bananas” much better bananas don’t have feelings so they can’t protest

You can tell them they "sound vaccinated". That usually gets a chuckle out of me when I see it.