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I will too will take fat zaps for silence

You basically have to pay me to shut up in real life too.

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usually leaving, or airhorns work.

Challenge accepted.

a high decibel airhorn will shut anyone not wearing headphones or earplugs right up. while their distracted holding their head, make your escape.

the best i can do is make a whipped cream can whistle

that is a waste of quality nitrous oxide.

My reflex to orange pill people overrides a LOT of my social habits. I'm trying very hard to turn it off.