The juxtaposition of the two rhetorical tones was just 🤌
So delicious jarring.
You can't give up alliterating half-way through a rant!
Its a violation of everything vehement, vitriolic, vivid, and venerable.
(I got excited seeing that Banana Spiders are https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phoneutria
but only for a moment. Still wouldn't alliterate in your post.)
Do better
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