It's not that I think it's not private. It's not private. But lets not continue that because you're arguing against lightning devs telling you it's not so you're too far gone for me to convince about that.

No, just...

1. Onramp to Monero directly. Easy.

OR

2. Swap enough Bitcoin for you to use for a few months or X amount of time you're comfortable with. You're paying one onchain bitcoin transaction for 100s of transactions. Saving a lot of money by doing that do the math.