You have the right to your belief. I find comfort in the math and the fact that there are a lot of eyes on Monero's code. Any "privileged access" to Monero's code would found and be patched immediately.

"The founder defended Monero’s cryptography, saying he could not assist the government with “privileged access.” He said, “I have no privileged access to Monero’s code, GitHub repo, website, Twitter account, DNS records, donated funds, or anything else.”"