No need to kill, just forgive and go on.

It is the best way to be together with yourself.

What you have been make what you are now.

"- I was ruthlessly self critical, I would ruminate on every mistake no matter how small for months.

- I was shamed/ridiculed for my extreme behaviors (riding a moped etc…)

- I relentlessly battled my own self doubt which was a constant

- I let ego get in my way "

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Discussion

This.

I think all growth is a kind of death. Death is natures change agent.

"a kind of" is more true.

I think we just learn to know our deeply ourself better with time.

And not the one others want you to be.

You thought you were a wrong man, and you kill that to be the one you are today.

But you could also see it that way :

You were not really you, and now you are more connected to you true deep you.

Anyway youth is for testing things and thoughts, and you feel strong physically.

When you get "H"older you a more wise by your previous experiments conclusions and you you feel stronger mindly.

It is how live works, always changing.