we could do cashu also. but their shipping address would be visible to the shop. so only so private you can get.

...unless... https://catallax.network/use-cases#privacy-protective-shipping-and-fulfillment

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So in other words, a trusted intermediary?

I could see a sort of forwarding service being helpful. It reduces your vectors of risk.

right, trust one entity with your address rather than every merchant you shop with.