I have tried running a lightning node. Didn't work, and pretty sure I lost sats.

I don't get what you want me to agree with here. Lightning proponents want me to accept them saying "Lightning is Bitcoin" in nothing but contexts where it misleads people, they've never even shown me a context where it's useful to let Lightning use the Bitcoin name. I'm not going to use Lightning when it's not useful to me. I'm not going to call it Bitcoin just to confuse people. I'm not going to get pushed away from Monero or doggie coin by counterarguments that are always false. What's the goal here?

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