Married nostriches: our 1st anniversary was this week, and i am thinking about ways to improve the collective that is our growing family. What scheduled events do you and your spouse have?
We are going to start meeting monthly for a couple hours to do finance stuff now that the wife is a stay at home mom-to-be. Wondering what others have on the calendar that is a non-negotiable. #asknostr
Maybe a schedule date night. And stick with it.
Love the initiative!
As a “sensitive” wife of 12yrs, the most important ‘meetings’ we have are weekly relationship check-ins! There are lots of prompts online, but basically it’s just a safe time (usually sun pm) for us both to express what we like that each other is doing and where we could improve, relationally.
We also have our own “book club” 🤓 lol. I’ve had to do a lot of inner healing, so these kinds of books are just a general interest of mine, but we choose a relationship book and go through it together. Either in print side by side, or if it’s audio we’ll listen and then come together.
We go for a date just the two of us monthly, and try to make it more than just out to dinner/ drinks.
always have a date night or date every week with your partner (minimum of 90 mins). It is non-negotiable. It does not have to be fancy. The key phrase is: "quality time together" away from any responsiblity.
Responsiblity kills desire. Don't take my word for it, you can check Esther Perel's work. Have fun ☺️🫂
How you have to have no responsibility with infants?
you do what works for you. you ask for other suggestions, do what you will with that info which I believe is generous. enjoy
I agree it would be cool, i am asking how
I always trade carefully giving advice unless it is being seek. Since you've asked, normally you deal with it with childcare or close family members so you can have time together as a couple. 2 common occurence with woman after giving birth: 1. hormones are all over the place as the body slowly adjust to lactating and after birth stress. 2. It can be depressing for the woman and sometimes we feel not pretty or very low during this time (zombie/fatigue effect).
As for the father, it will be a massive adjustment period for both of you esp on your sleep whilst juggling with work.
With that being said, all the more to protect your time together as a couple. I suggest find a good pattern for you both as early as possible. Eg. once you have fully adjusted on the sleeping pattern for your lil one. This normally take 3-6 months of adjustment (generally speaking but can also varies). When I say quality time, I don't mean that go to fancy dinner right away. A nice walk just the both of you outside and treat it as a date. Simple gesture like that comes a long way. The moment you forget about your relationship, it will be difficult to get it back on track. I truly mean to read Esther Perel's book. Hope this helps. 🙏☺️ You got this 💪 and I am excited for your lil one 🫂
I get 4 months of paternity leave so thats not a problem. I keep forgetting bottles are a thing and she can pump food for them later. I hope with twins its still the case.
Monthly budget meetings ftw. Eat dinner at our kitchen table with dedicated no cellphone time. And not really on our calendar, but we try to give each other some personal time. One of us will take primary on kid duty for a few hours while the other can do whatever - really needed especially for a stay at home parent
