Are you smoking crack? Bitcoin is p2p and does not require you to be online at the same time as whoever's wallet address you're sending sats to

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It's not p2p. Transactions are between you and the blockchain. P2P is a network type in which everything happens between two parties. And both parties have to be online at the same time for it to work. Bitcoin and other blockchain currencies don't fit the definition.

Idk where you're getting your idea of what p2p means but I would file it under the category of crack smoke

Are torrents not P2P because a third person can download a torrent from a second person after the first person has stopped seeding?

Donโ€™t even bother engaging

lol morons have arrived