Just the way servers work. When you connect to a server (or relay) the incoming connection aka your ip is known.

Server operators can choose to hash ips or not look at them at all, but then you put all your trust in the operators since you can’t actually verify this

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Yep. This is not a Nostr specific issue. Go to any website and they can get your IP address of they care to look.

Thank you both. My ignorance clearly showing.

Systemic trade-offs, just like the choke points of DNS I suppose.

Is VPN a better UX than onion?

Yeah a good VPN shouldn't degrade your experience much.

A few links/sites & images are blocked because you're sharing an IP with shadowy supercoders.