I call that elimi-dating. Iāve been on dates and observed them where one or both parties are elimi-dating. Itās awful. Iāve had more enjoyable job interviews.
Discussion
I've overheard some people talk like that about past dates. It's such a weird conversation. Like you said, like they were talking about someone applying for a job that they weren't qualified for.
Iāll be honest and say Iāve talked about dates with friends like the date was a candidate applying for a job they werenāt qualified for. Iāve also been on a date and felt like Iām not qualified to be here, Iāll just excuse myself.
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I dated someone like that, for a while. He really liked me, but his whole circle was so Oxbridge posh that I felt like the maid crashing their parties and was like nah. The whole thing was weird.
I had a sweet girl who had overcome a lot and made a lot of progress in life say to me, on a third date, āEh, Iāll probably fuck this up. I always fuck up the good ones.ā It was really sad she thought about herself that way.
Itās sad but itās also really good to know if a potential partner doesnāt believe theyāre capable of changing their behavior patterns.
For sure. Itās amazing how people show and tell us who they are, if only weāll listen. Admittedly, I had to fight the urge to jump into savior mode (as if). Thank god for the lessons of therapy. I was not surprised by the self-immolation that shortly followed.
Low self-esteem, yeah.
I get it.