The punchline is that they are establishing the strategic reserve by confiscating Coinbase and MSTR.

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I know this is probably a joke, but i think there are rules where the gov has to sell off confiscated assets and that’s why they never keep corn from hacks, ransomware busts, etc.

Suppose rules can always change or be broken though too

I don't think they sold all the gold they confiscated in 1933 ?