Your model relies on an assumed continuum of past events. In the grabby alien example it goes so far as to assume a model of the universe which we cannot explain “errrrr dark matter or something”, its practical to do so but to claim a precision to the extent of “no unknowns” I think it verging on hubris.

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To be clear, I don’t very much rate the dark matter theory. To me it’s the same as saying “we have no idea why this doesn’t add up”

And yes my arguments are unapologetically sloppy 😂