Ah, yes. That's actually the rub of it: I don't trust God enough. Maybe at all?
So you're right. I've had enough adversity from abusive pricks. I did not grow from that. I am certainly twisted and stunted.
Discussion
That’s the foundation of faith. Trusting in someone other than yourself. Your faith has been abused by these pricks. They were unworthy recipients of it.
We have to fast and pray for those in positions of authority, because the example they give is so crucial. A bad father can seriously damage his child's ability to know and love God, as can an abusive spouse, a nasty teacher, or a tyrannical government leader.
That is the way of the world. Yet our Lord can save us still.