nostr:npub1g0uss0sjsgxwmhqxgnvlj0zv9ru89xwfyktkcjc0kgy8syxj79ss383vfw slapping myself in the head rn for posting screenshots that I didn't bother to read myself. But who needs to read when his pfp vibes are screaming out at you?
I read one of Aella's blog posts about what it's like to do LSD for a year without knowing it was her. I felt this overwhelming sense of bleakness, especially in her description of experiencing the texture of the world as akin to a cracked desert.
It's normal for depressed people to be nonchalant about death, but she seemed to think it was so special, and that was the most pitiable thing. A mind happy to be ending in a pitchblack desert which leads nowhere, a body lying and waiting for death in between the bouts of prostitution.
And then I read enough to figure out that this was Aella (I didn't know she did so much LSD before this either) and I just felt contempt
nostr:npub1pt6l3a97fvywrxdlr7j0q8j2klwntng35c40cuhj2xmsxmz696uqfr6mf6 >description of experiencing the texture of the world as akin to a cracked desert.
The dangers of being attracted to experiencing novel stimuli above all else
I think death is special too, although presumably in a very different way from Aella
nostr:npub1g0uss0sjsgxwmhqxgnvlj0zv9ru89xwfyktkcjc0kgy8syxj79ss383vfw I mislead you with poor sentence construction. I meant that Aella thinks that she is special because she is "nonchalant about death", that she sees no difference between being dead and being alive. As for how your two viewpoints differ, it's too obvious to comment on that much, but I want to say that another thing that struck me about her is how "flat" her worldview seemed. It was like seeing a greyed-out 2D image of buddhism. Makes sense from a neuro perspective, with fried dopamine receptors and all that
