Yes, everyone agrees on the “terms” of the protocol when they opt in. But that’s basically it. Then consensus happens *because* of protocol incentives.

On monero, and everywhere else, a hardfork is renewed opt in with everyone. And in monero you keep doing it over and over again. Agreeing on hardforks is a consensus mechanism that supersedes protocol incentives. Voting is like a hardfork. It’s not a consensus mechanism. People have decided *before* voting, and there are many reasons on why people vote the way they do.

Hard forks work for now because it’s a community. But money cannot be a community aggregator.

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I see what you're saying now and I think those are all valid points to bring up.

Even if Monero network is voluntary, and like-minded users can fork away and/or swap away, there is a cost in network size/mind-share/value etc. that Bitcoin doesn't incur because it doesn't hardfork

I think the trade-offs make sense for each project and what is prioritized. For example, if there were softforks with Monero it's privacy would be constantly reduced. There would be many different privacy pools for each version not a unified set. Another example is the adaptability necessary to keep up with privacy tech vs surveillance tech - without that we probably wouldn't have RingCT, bulletproofs, dandelion, enforced standard ring size (uniformity = better privacy), increasing ring sizes, and now FCMP.

I personally believe neither Bitcoin nor Monero will usurp fiat on white markets and become popular money for the masses. In my view, these things will continue to grow to a certain share of people around the globe, but will always be relatively niche (freedom/sovereignty is niche)

If one values the properties of Bitcoin over that I can easily understand why. It does have it's own unique advantages over Monero and vice versa.