I like the pretty colours?

Yes. Unmarked, or minimally marked shirts/jackets are for adults. Especially bad are graphic tees essentially advertising for someone else's business. If they aren't paying you to wear it, use it for shop rags.

Because my young children tend to snot, puke, or wipe their ketchup- or chocolate-covered faces on everything I wear.

Don’t.

Some say do

Some say don’t

I say fuck you!

Why do you gatekeep being a man?

I do prefer wearing button ups generally, but I go through phases.