I joined the Nostrnest session by [@Rev.Hodl](https://njump.me/npub1f5pre6wl6ad87vr4hr5wppqq30sh58m4p33mthnjreh03qadcajs7gwt3z), @LiveBit21 and [@Bit_ki](https://njump.me/npub1n04sq6fgwp38wehyhqfngk3q90y658m5qtk8z5t3vrvkzwmu2q2sc0qlga), yesterday "Permaculture an Psychology: Well-being is Capital".

The nostrnest session left me pondering about my own dip in mental well-being a while back after running into a (light?) depression or maybe burn-out. A dark mental state in any case, following giving up my fiat job to join a Bitcoin startup.

The details do not really matter, but the setting does. I had high expectancies, was facing a bit of a burnout in fiat job already due to feeling of doing useless job, and genuinely thought I could make a difference.

Expecting from the co-starters/bitcoiners to be of a similar mindset,... but in retrospect there were the first (maybe 2nd) self-deceipts. I knew we were not the same, but hey, we are all Bitcoiners right?

Bitcoin (the human network), although being already a niche is an amalgamation of people with each their own view and use of the tool Bitcoin. There are the Austrian economists, libertarians, anarchists, an-caps, but also the rent seekers, the quick fiat gainers, speculants, etc...

Thinking all Bitcoiners are good is already stretching reality, thinking they are all the same as you is just plain deceiving yourself, thinking that you know who is and who is not a Bitcoiner based on people's thoughts and ideals is just narcissistic. Don't invent definitions that you think is the only truth out there 🤷🏻‍♂️.

I didn't fit with everyone in the team, I didn't live up to (my own) expectancy , partially just because I had a very different view on a lot of things, ended up spending too much time trying to align with things that didn't align with me. From bad to worse,... in all honesty a bleak period where I lost all confidence in myself, Bitcoiners (or at least my expectancy) and my place within this all. And I turned into myself, muted all my social media, and went to a manual labor fiat job (with close to no reserves left to stack more Sats).

Bringing it back to an excellent nostrnest ... The whole session brought me to mesmerizing on the situation I described above.

True to my nature of discombobulating my thoughts, I threw in a confusing mess of words into the group. The nest-team did an excellent job trying to untangle the word-spaghetti into questions they tried to answer.

Big thanks once again guys 🙏🏻😊.

More than the direct answers they did spark an insight for myself thanks to several points I noted down during their talk.

- Nature triggers feeling of awe which brings happiness & the value of beauty

Seeing beautiful people (no not the outside fiat way of things with someone looking 'hot') brings happiness. Seeing other people succeed in the things you as a spectator value the most brings awe and happiness. That is why I like to follow certain profiles on whatever social media. Things I feel I am not able to achieve myself. We all look to influencers, but the influencers we look at, don't have to be the social media parasites as we define "influencers". The people I look in awe and respect the beauty are the Untapped Growth's, the Rev.Hodl's and other plebs that are achieving things that some do not value as much, and that is ok. It is also nature to all be different.

- finding balance in natural cycles (theme was (letting) seasons influencing what you eat)

The natural cycles also influence me. My life cycle brings me into areas of interest that my former self would have deemed a "loss of time". Even in social relationships there are constant changes, changes that in return influence me as a person,

- life satisfaction vs feeling good

It is not about gaining money, and even not about gaining hard money. For me it is about feeling good. Feeling good by the satisfaction on HOW you gain/earn that money. My low income fiat job(s) give me more satisfaction. Aside of that doing the things I do in my free time build another kind of Capital that cannot be expressed in even hard money.

- investment of time in own well-being

The things I do as a volunteer, is my investment in own well-being.

- Wonder of animal husbandry

Just this phrase by B made me think about social layers

- Permaculture works from pattern to detail, which is also the best design for your happiness

"What does make one happy?" is the first question that pops up (circle is complete) but now I think about it on a more holistic level, not the details to fill in. We all start with the self, but there are external factors as well. The most influential, on which we still have an influence on it's design is our social layers.

I am quite ok with my private life. Have my little fam, with our own worries, but be are generally happy with each other. But in the long and short of it: Family is only the closest layer around the self. There is a whole range of babushka's in which we envelop ourselves.

IT IS here I have the most questions for myself. 😊

If we see happiness (psychological well being) as a process we can design, one of the most important elements is the people we decide to surround ourselves with. And here I complete another circle, being thankful for the people I met through the Meshtadel 🙏🏻

Well being capital (feeling good), is peace of heart, peace of mind. Which can be achieved by living a healthy life. Not only deciding what you eat, what you do, but also how and with whom you interact.

There is no need to hit someone in the face, be it with facts or fist, when there is no need to interact in the first place. If I have learned one lesson from my bleak period, it is to walk away faster. Use your personal energy more efficient, and surround yourself with those people that really matter to you. Aside of your family, that can be friends or even just acquaintances with a similar view, or even those with opposing views, but with the same level of communication engagement. IF you like to fight, by all means, look for those with the same conviction but opposing view.

So once again. Thank you Rev, Liv and B! And all attendees and speakers of the nostrnest. I will ponder even further on this later on, and improve my well being continuously thanks to you guys 😉