for me the issue seemed to go away when i started running my own aggregate relay.... but that's a good question. there is a way to have suggested relays in NIP-5 i believe but i'm not sure if its being used much
Discussion
NIP5 reference for suggested relays https://github.com/nostr-protocol/nips/blob/master/05.md
good idea.
yo, what’s your set up for the aggregate relay?
LNBits on a $7 vps, w/both nostrclient and nostr-relay extensions. But - they're both kind beta so you might have to pull from main to get it to go. hang out in the https://t.me/lnbits if you have Qs