You should try calyx if you are having trouble with grapheneos
I guess nostr:nprofile1qy2hwumn8ghj7un9d3shjtnddaehgu3wwp6kyqpq235tem4hfn34edqh8hxfja9amty73998f0eagnuu4zm423s9e8ks3f750r didn't work out for you?
I remember you saying some good things about them a couple years ago and even thought you donated $1M to them...
I don't blame you for sticking to an iPhone though, I tried to transition to graphene and struggled myself. A "locked down" iPhone, particularly without icloud used, without siri used, and with lockdown mode enabled is probably as secure/private as a closed source black box phone can be...
Wanted to love graphene for it being open source but its a tough switch after being an iphone user for a decade+
Discussion
I don't really have a problem with grapheneOS that calyx would solve. It would probably just make things worse.
My main issues are:
1) I am used to the iOS environment more than android
2) 95%+ of my contacts use iPhones so I can securely message with iMessage, only a quarter of them use signal. By using graphene, I end up with insecure/unencrypted SMS messaging with my contacts
3) I do not use icloud, i don't use siri, i use lockdown mode. I feel like with those settings, I have a setup that is probably equally as secure as graphene with some (but hard for me to quantify) privacy tradeoff since apple is probably still collecting a bunch of data on me
It would seem that GrapheneOS loves to manipulate people and they never stop posting as you can see... Stick with what you feel most comfortable with. That will be the best OS for you.