I think Nostr apps need to come with client/relay pairs, but not so that users only have to write to one relay.

Publishing a relay with every app increases the number of relays. It also increases the proportion of relays that are tailored to a specific set of event kinds, as different apps will need relays focused on specific types of events. This will diversify the relay landscape, which contributes to the health of the Nostr network.

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I like this, but I prefer having this custom relay in a setting or config file, so that someone doesn't have to change the code, to dislodge that relay.

I agree, it should be configurable. The default relay an app ships with should be a starting point, but the app should preserve the user's freedom to read from any relay he or she wishes.

Having a default relay intended to handle the types of events the app is built for gives a better user experience at the outset, as users don't need to manually configure a relay set to start seeing things on the app.