I have been driving for a living for the majority of the last 20 years. Today I got my fourth traffic ticket in the last two years and I am so fucking done. I can't do a job where I am constantly at risk of the state intervening and deciding I'm not going it correct or safely. I am a better and safer driver than I have ever been, but my confidence in my ability is to my detriment. I drive faster because I know I can safely handle the speed and read the road and traffic conditions. I don't stop at stop signs as much as I should to avoid a ticket because I'm checking the intersection and crosswalks before I even get there. To the traffic cops that witness these actions I am flaunting the law and my attitude is arrogant, and there is no reasoning with them.

I'm not sure these are habits I can change, so I'm thinking it's time to pivot to something else. I'm not sure what that is, but for now I will focus on my mental and physical health which has been getting neglected lately.