And again, I'm stuck.
I know people keep trying to interfere, but right now it's a checklist for ticking off the "bad things I did" and I'm the asshole again. No understanding at all for *me* or what I value.
Please understand that of all these quotes of good advice, and being a better person, etc. In the first 3/4 of the last 20 years, I did almost all of it. (I'm not exagerating.) And then a bunch of assholes come along and I get attacked by almost everyone for 5 years straight.
And now I get rude, so I'm the asshole. That's why I say that people do not have any idea at all who I am, because they cannot even comprehend me, and on top of that have only looked for all the bad.
Let me be clear: I write this with no arrogance in my mind. This isn't a likeability competition for me. It's just that people seem to want to destroy what they don't understand.