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What is the harm in sleeping with a bunch of women while single? If it’s all consensual and you haven’t lied to any of them, why do some people insist it is degenerate? Don’t use the argument that God said so because that can’t be proven.

Jeff Swann 1y ago

Sometimes just examining the fact that you feel the need to ask a particular question can reveal something about what you may already know on a deeper level.

As someone who has done it & was always honest with them, it can be fun, but it won't bring any sort of real satisfaction, & it won't really make you feel less lonely. And either you hook up with people who are completely broken (not smart for all sorts of reasons) or you eventually have to hurt all of them because they will all want to be the one you choose & none of them will be. You can certainly learn things in the process, but the biggest lesson or realization for me was that I actually wanted to find someone with whom I could really connect & build a future with, & that it was stupid to waste so much time not actively looking for her.

Post covid, I don't want to fuck anything that got jabbed so I think quality would be my primary focus either way.

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Discussion

MAHDOOD 1y ago

I’ve seen a lot of nostr evangelists attack men for being degens and sleeping with women or attacking women that post naked pictures of themselves. I was just wondering if these negative views are all based on religion.

But I agree with you I’ve never felt satisfied for very long. However, some of them I had great connections with despite knowing it wouldn’t lead anywhere. And I learn a lot about myself and about them. It’s a nice experience and I like having those memories. Sometimes they do end messy with someone getting hurt but it’s because I wasn’t very clear about what I wanted.

Jeff Swann 1y ago

I don't think I could ever be with someone who put themselves on display that way. I have no problem with the fact that some do. I suspect that the choice to do so isn't usually the result of anything particularly healthy. But it doesn't do anyone any good to attack or condemn people for something that harms no one.

There seems to be all sorts of insecurity on both sides of the sexual divide. Religious people are like sexual anorexics or bulimics, & then there are sex workers who are basically the sexually "obese." Neither being good examples of a healthy approach to the subject.

MAHDOOD 1y ago

Sexual anorexics and sexually obese is a really good metaphor! I agree with you and I don’t think I could be with a woman that did OF or anything like that. But I also don’t see the harm in them doing that. Their business with their customers is completely consensual.