I think that some degree of "balkanization" is good for nostr. There will be a time when "nostr community" is not a thing anymore. So I'd prefer deep relay management over all kinds of attempts to universalize nostr.

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As long as my simps stay with me I'm cool with that.

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Yes please. IMO nostr clients ought to consider going IRC style: don't automatically connect up front, just present a list of servers. Make it clear we understand which data is read from / written to which relays.

gossip seems to be taking a step in the right direction here.

The RL rule is that everyone is 6 contacts away from everyone else on earth. Hopefully, the organic connections made here will create something similar. What won't be helpful is if we start getting relay imbreeding.