Growing past childish desires
Discussion
Sounds juicy. I am getting curious :)
It’s not juicy at all 😂 I’m an only child and I grew up fairly sheltered so the “popular”“party girl” lifestyle was something I really wanted. Ya know the whole girl posse, sex & the city boss babe life. A couple years ago that wasn’t attainable so I lived humbly. I was happy and fulfilled.
Recently, I made friends with ladies who definitely live the lifestyle I dreamed about having as a kid and I got caught up in living out that dream. Ultimately, I learned that it’s an empty way of living. It’s fun but draining… so I’m struggling with the consequence of knowing better but wanting to do wrong.
Hola 💃🏻 I started writing my response to you and now realize I never completed it as I got distracted.
I was gonna say, it does sounds juicy to me 😘 There is obviously a push and pull conflicting dynamic within you that's playing out here. I am wondering how you are feeling a week and a half later and if it still feels as charged as when you share? Curious how the energies of this Aries harvest full moon are affecting you and have played into this.
When I read your share I immediately thought about a book I was introduced to about 5 years ago that I really love... Its's called "Existential Kink" by Carolyn Elliot. I'd recommend the audible version as the author reads it. I think I am gonna take a listen again myself. 
😊 sure. I think it all boils down to standing in who I claim to be. Idk if it’s a push pull or a tiny battleground of the spiritual warfare currently underway.
I’ve chosen to follow Christ and I proclaim it. There is responsibility in taking that path. I thought I was ready but I misunderstood 😂😂 Satan is a deceiver and will use certain things to manipulate Christ followers off their given path. He’s relentless and can’t stand when people choose the victor. The conflict came from me justifying wrong instead of doing what’s right. I willingly gave into sin.
Now that time has passed, I can tell you I definitely feel more charged about it than I did before. I willingly chose to turn away from my rock, provider, and savior. I was so caught up in being popular I made myself unrecognizable. It was gross 🤢 I’ve lamented and repented. I never want to be in a position where I misrepresent myself to fit in or live a life that’s not sustainable/real ever again. I’m more on guard now because of it.
I’m so grateful that choosing Jesus brings forth forgiveness. That charges me because my life was spared. The stuff I was getting into could’ve gone super wrong but I was given an opportunity to stop, turn around, and get back on track. I cut the people and things out of my life that didn’t align with who I am and I asked for the strength to move forward. It’s hard but blessings all my life have come from my Heavenly Father. It’s foolish to confuse them with coming from anyone or anywhere else.