More times than I can count. The challenge I face is similar to his. My issue stems from an overwhelming amount of woefully conflicting knowledge. Ranging from differences in denominations, priests raping my friends, and generally not knowing which teachings are real. Since the bible has ommitted original texts and through translations the original words have been lost to secular politics and time.

I am ready for what he did. The issue is absolute mistrust. I trust no one anymore. I don't think I can. Ive been stabbed in the back by those closest too me more times than I can count. How then do I redeem myself and attain the true wisdom required to make a positive change within myself if I can't trust?

How can i forgiven for my past transgressions and finally become healed? Putting past my fears and unleashing my true potential to make a positive change in our mutually shared existence. Is what I want most. I don't know how to navigate the waters of faith anymore without trust to arrive at my desired healing destination.

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Discussion

Ask God for wisdom and guidance. Go slow, pray alone with your door closed, no hurry and nothing to prove, and just explain it all to God. He knows - the explaining is for you.

IMO it's good that you see the problems in the different denominations and the flaws in the written Bible. Other Christians may not agree with me, but I do think it has flaws. Since you can see that, you can contribute much more than most by studying it, if you feel so inclined. We need more people engaged in critical thinking.