why is it a nightmare? does it use normal relay lists or a new kind? what does it need to use a relay is it similar to nip17? would it help if relay operators publish a nip66 with a whitenoise tag to indicate suitable for use with whitenoise?
Discussion
to answer some of my own questions: nip-EE does have a new relay list type the keypackage relays, and then, it has lists of relays in the events. it does not require anything special to function other than, open unthrottled access from any random pubkey just like nip17. I dont know if whitenoise supports auth, so it may not be suitable with nip17 relays like auth.nostr1.com unless it does.
It's a mess because now there are four different relay lists, and that's difficult to design.
We have something pretty coming in the next release tho!