thanks for taking the time to respond, Juls. you bring up a lot of relatable sentiments...

i used to struggle so much with expressing my feelings, and sometimes still do if i'm being honest. there was always a great fear of being known within me, so much so that i could feel it physically like an intense tightness in my chest. because to be seen, and then to be unloved is beyond terrifying—it's like an existential dread.

to lay yourself bare emotionally before another—without pretense—is extremely vulnerable. but without that vulnerability there can't be true love.

in the past, my attempts to "surrender" before i could be vulnerable were no more than manipulations—pleas for validation. my attempts to "love" without vulnerability were simply placating my ego.

my journey as a submissive has encouraged me to recognize and embrace vulnerability. and perhaps that's why i was drawn to this path, because without vulnerability i would have never been able to love or be loved...

idk, your post made me think about how far i've come and how far i still have to go

<3