I think keeping a coconut under your bed for self defense is a good idea, if some little night time house invader comes in trying to take your TV he can catch a coconut to the dome clocking somewhere between 65mph to 90mph+ if you really got that arm on you.
Discussion
While this is hilarious to think of. Waking up from a deep sleep to reach under your bed and throw a coconut at someone who broke into your house if it is during the night. Sounds like a funny gamble that no one who is not actually a professional level baseball or softball player should ever try.
I'd rather gamble my life with one of my good old trustworthy handguns. Readily available in my magic self defense fuck around and find out range bag here on my nightstand. As well as my trusty sniper rifle if he tries to get away while shitting his pants.
No one who dares to enter my homestead without permission lives to tell the tale...