Hahah, ah man. Don't worry, we know you don't hate relays nostr:npub18kzz4lkdtc5n729kvfunxuz287uvu9f64ywhjz43ra482t2y5sks0mx5sz. 😅
I do think that gossip pooling requests onto a set of connections that is based on everyone's relay list will scale ok.. but it is very hard to see it in action until everyone's clients start doing smarter things to help them manage their nip65 list.
Randomizing does not seem very smart.. more of an invite system, where you get an invite that contains a small relay set to start. (Like Japan invites someone, they get some Japan relays that make sense). Once those first few relays connect, it's easy to crawl the relays from that starting point..