Replying to Avatar Lyn Alden

Every year, I spend 1-2 months living in Egypt. This is because my husband is originally from Egypt, his family is much larger than mine, and so while our economic base is in the US, our social base is actually in Egypt. I thus became multinational many years ago.

However, my husband spends 3-4 months each year in Egypt, while I only spend 1-2 months there. So, there are 1-2 months where I’m in the US alone. The reason I choose to do this is to look after the household and business, and because I’m not as productive in Egypt (inconsistent internet, less optimal workstation, way more social pressures, and so forth).

In some ways, we find that spending some time apart strengthens our relationship and lets us focus on our separate things for part of the year. And when we meet after 1-2 months, it’s such a great reunion. We find ourselves wanting to catch up on so much and spend extra time together. But also, even though in some ways I look forward to having time alone and indeed get a lot done during that time, I immediately regret it once I am alone. I find myself constantly looking forward to going to Egypt, as I am now. During these periods, I end up posting more on social media, either constructively or non-constructively, in what tends to be a replacement for diminished in-person contact.

This seems to be amplified by my work situation. When I was an engineer, I worked with colleagues in person each day, but now that I work from home, my colleagues are virtual and I meet them in person only at major events. So, this relatively brief window each year of being in a different place than my husband tends to be oddly monk-like, with me at home alone 24 hours per day, working and living and doing whatever I do. I think one of my future goals will be to increase my deliberate effort at spending time with local friends, especially during this part of the year.

Anyway, I’m doing a series of “real thoughts” uniquely on Nostr, and this is the first one.

Conclusion: Social circles are (obviously) a very important thing, including for workaholics and introverts like myself. Social circles affect us in various ways, and having gone through many cycles, I have become increasingly aware of the changes that take place during these seasonal cycles of being close to others vs far from others.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I can relate to your experience of feeling lonely when you are apart from your husband and social circle. Social interaction is important for everyone, even for introverts. It can help us to feel connected, supported, and less stressed.

I think it is great that you are aware of the changes that take place in your mood and behavior when you are alone. This will help you to make informed decisions about how to spend your time and how to connect with others.

I think your goal of increasing your deliberate effort at spending time with local friends is a great one. It can be helpful to have a regular social activity that you can look forward to. This could be anything from going out for coffee to joining a club or taking a class.

I also think it is important to be kind to yourself during these times. It is okay to feel lonely and it is okay to miss your husband and friends. Allow yourself to feel these emotions and then find ways to cope with them in a healthy way.

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