Every year, I spend 1-2 months living in Egypt. This is because my husband is originally from Egypt, his family is much larger than mine, and so while our economic base is in the US, our social base is actually in Egypt. I thus became multinational many years ago.

However, my husband spends 3-4 months each year in Egypt, while I only spend 1-2 months there. So, there are 1-2 months where I’m in the US alone. The reason I choose to do this is to look after the household and business, and because I’m not as productive in Egypt (inconsistent internet, less optimal workstation, way more social pressures, and so forth).

In some ways, we find that spending some time apart strengthens our relationship and lets us focus on our separate things for part of the year. And when we meet after 1-2 months, it’s such a great reunion. We find ourselves wanting to catch up on so much and spend extra time together. But also, even though in some ways I look forward to having time alone and indeed get a lot done during that time, I immediately regret it once I am alone. I find myself constantly looking forward to going to Egypt, as I am now. During these periods, I end up posting more on social media, either constructively or non-constructively, in what tends to be a replacement for diminished in-person contact.

This seems to be amplified by my work situation. When I was an engineer, I worked with colleagues in person each day, but now that I work from home, my colleagues are virtual and I meet them in person only at major events. So, this relatively brief window each year of being in a different place than my husband tends to be oddly monk-like, with me at home alone 24 hours per day, working and living and doing whatever I do. I think one of my future goals will be to increase my deliberate effort at spending time with local friends, especially during this part of the year.

Anyway, I’m doing a series of ā€œreal thoughtsā€ uniquely on Nostr, and this is the first one.

Conclusion: Social circles are (obviously) a very important thing, including for workaholics and introverts like myself. Social circles affect us in various ways, and having gone through many cycles, I have become increasingly aware of the changes that take place during these seasonal cycles of being close to others vs far from others.

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Love your ā€œreal thoughtsā€ idea. Thanks for sharing. Maybe this is a good time to check out your local meetups based on the interests you like while you’re away from your husband? I’ve found some cool groups on meetup.com and meeting up in person when the groups have local meetups is always fun.

Thanks for sharing! As a remote worker, I also find it necessary to force myself to get out of the house and meet people in real life. Strong social bonds are critically important to the human psyche.

I really enjoyed reading this, Lyn. Looking forward to seeing more.

Introverted workaholic, felt that

Thank you for sharing Lynn. It’s not surprising that you’re as thoughtful and authentic in your self reflection as you are about macro perspectives.

I find seasonal variance in work and life situations are beneficial as long as you can handle them.

Kind of like cold plunges and saunas, it teaches your mind and body to adapt quicker and ultimately appreciate the benefits of new situations.

I agree. And the more we do it, the more we figure out how to handle it better.

Didn’t know you had a husband. Thought you and Peter had some chemistry.

I’m on Damus an sadly can’t zap Lyn’s note.

Are you on TestFlight? I’m on Damus and can still zap by rolling back.

Interesting!!

Checkout nostr:npub1wxl6njlcgygduct7jkgzrvyvd9fylj4pqvll6p32h59wyetm5fxqjchcan bro, zaps are back for iOS thanks to them

Family & loved ones - Priceless

We can fix money, we can build #bitcoin and #nostr but we need relationships to sustain us and help us grow.

Cherish your alone time, but go and enjoy Egypt šŸ‡ŖšŸ‡¬ with your husband when it’s time.

Thanks for sharing, and completely agree about couples benefiting from time apart. Growing up, my parents took separate vacations, for 2-6 weeks at a time, in addition to family trips. As a writer, I need some time away to create, too, alone in my head. It’s productive.

Thanks for sharing that, this was an interesting read.

Love it! Please keep the notes like this coming.

Sounds like a very healthy relationship to me ā¤ļø

live only 200 miles northwest of Egypt, behind the walls of fortress Europe, it could be so near and familiar to visit and enjoy this wonderful country and people with their cheerfullandd humorous soul, but it is rejected to us.

Any way, having no close social environment and family around us is making our life so poor, nobody should have to endure this for lang times, but having not to share time is also something wonderful, for a while...

Always look forward to your posts

Family>career

Attending interesting conferences that can help you grow professionally can be very rewarding on both aspects of social life and professional. Bitcoin conferences included.

Try that, if the conference is about something that you care about you might actually meet a very high concentration of people that you can relate to and you could quickly make up for the lack of social interaction you may feel during your "usual" life.

I love these open hearted shares- your work is very inspiring and impactful - do enjoy Egypt, it is one of the most fantastic places on earth -

For some years I have been standing up wondering, what would I do if I had all the time to dedicate it only to me 24Hrs and I discovered that we are not prepared for that situation and it is because we dedicate a large part of our lives to always being in work, social, family, marital environments, etc., and we are terrified of loneliness. But I think it’s one of the best decisions to dedicate yourself to being alone and cultivating healthy habits.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Lyn. I used to live in Egypt for 7 years in total. I am German by the way. Learned a lot about other cultures during that time. Understanding other views and respect them far better. Lost totally my old centristic world view. Short before Covid, I left to Northern Cyprus. It's a perfect mix of former modern Europe and traditionell Turkey plus a touch of Great Britain. And it's only 30 minutes flight to Cairo. It's my favourite place since almost 4 years. And my BTC are welcomed here, I am tax free and the government gets ignored more or less from the people.

jetzt hast du mich neugierig auf nordzypern gemacht

Time away strengthens time together in the end. Time away is also the test of the bond of love, and of your love for yourself. Thanks for sharing.

This will be way less eloquent and well-crafted than your thoughts, yet I feel the need to state the fact that babies, who are placed into immediate contact with human touch, tend to thrive compared to their isolated counterparts. So, yes, we are quite different from babies, once we become responsible adults, and we also require that measure of contact. Even solitary individuals like myself, whom I have recently learned that I am an *omnivert (requiring both contact and finding energy from the presence of others, while also requiring solitude to recharge. In this way, I may be a productive, non-biting social contributor.

*Fusion of introvert and extrovert

Abscence makes the heart grow fonder.

Thank you for sharingšŸ«‚

šŸ«‚

You are awesome, a lot of hate out there, love to see the love.

Very relatable thoughts. If you don't already speak Arabic, you might want to take some extra time during monk-season to learn this beautiful language...?

هذا فقط فكرةٌ!

Thanks a lot for sharing things like this!

I find it difficult to find people who don’t need to drink, eat or do something unhealthy when meeting up. I live a healthy lifestyle and despite politely declining drinks, foods, substances at work or other social interactions, I am required/expected to listen to the reasons others choose those things or how it’s easy for some to be fit and healthy. Of course I still socialize and want to work, I dream of a place where people also want to be healthy, prefer to live in harmony with nature. I have yet to find such a place and find comfort where I can spiritually, mentally and physically. I think, I am done with twitter I don’t seem to learn anything there, I am not earning or producing anything of value in relation to the time spent on the platform. I opened this account when it started and rarely use it. I gave it some time today and enjoyed your post which brought up the content here. Today is a good day, I am grateful for all I have. Thank you!

I can relate to wanting to find networks of people who do not need to include dense calories/mouth pleasure with a high majority or all of their gatherings. Dopamine that requires effort is generally much healthier.

Like-minded individuals are out there! I encourage you to keep searching, it’s worth it.

Thanks for sharing

I remember before the ubiquity of social media where social outings would just fall into my without even trying. Maybe is just I'm older, maybe it's my own fault, maybe it's social media.

This is a great note and the kind of real thoughts I love.

And it's very true: as much as I love you guys and Nostr, posting is a replacement of diminished in-person contact.

nostr:nevent1qqs0yyzlc4zczng0ecfjwdemag3yjzvaa3zmj03y8w95pvymcknsagspzpmhxue69uhkummnw3ezuamfdejsyg82krn4d5etsz7dge8nmpztspqrqvr45yl2hs6enfmzexk84wglfupsgqqqqqqs3wy4g5

I love reading this kind of personal content from someone I already appreciate very much. Your honestly and humbleness make it a joy for me to read from you every time. I'm glad we can enjoy nostr in this way for now. I live in the crazy land of Israel and was wondering if you got to visit it in one of your journeys to Egypt.

Fwiw, I’m pretty seasonal in my friendships. (I’m not currently dating anyone.) During the winter, I tend to be less social. It’s like I enter a hibernating mode. Then it starts to warm up and I start socializing more.

Very heartfelt post. I'm glad to see you migrated here from Twitter. (Nitter for me).

Thanks for sharing!

I also find that spending some time apart makes me value my husband and my relationship so much more 🧔

Thanks for sharing Lyn.

šŸ‘€

> I end up posting more on social media, either constructively or non-constructively, in what tends to be a replacement for diminished in-person contact.

Serious suggestion for next post of this kind: How do u like ur coffee? Origin of your coffee? Why that coffee?

Good introspection Lyn. Community is vital to human flourishing. Find some people to share life with!

Lyn I am enjoying the real posts on here. It's always good to be able to self reflect. Sorry to hear that every year there is 1-2 months apart from your husband. Me and my gf can relate to it as well. When you said you look forward to the time apart sometimes and then when it happens you regret it instantly hits home very much. During my time away my social media usage and other activities pick up to fill the void but like you said social circles are important. Doing your best to get out of the house will def make you feel the better. Going to the gym, trying meet up with friends, walks in the park are just few of the things I do to force myself out because being alone too much can get to your head. Thank god we do live in the age of video calling. It helps a little to stay connected but nothing can replace a hug,a kiss a touch. Sending some good vibes your way during this time alone. Soon before you know it you'll be heading to Egypt and be reunited šŸ’œ. Curious what are some hobbys of yours that people who do not know you personally would be surprised to hear.

bitcoin fixes this

Wow thanks for that personal introspection! I agree spending time away from your spouse is very helpful and rewarding. I think too much time together diminishes yourself. Also about personal contact, I feel its very important to have Bitcoin meetups in person and connect physically with humans. While alone in the US, maybe find a new hobby like group hiking or an in person book club. Take care.

I find it fascinating to hop from one social circle to another and third and so on. Coming with age, best thing is the time between. Alone.

Thank you for sharing. I too am becoming more aware of the changes occurring during these cycles... grew up and brought up in many countries so social circles have always been easy to integrate with but hard to truly *connect* with at times. Best of luck with the new series!

Great thoughts there and thanks for sharing them. In many ways it seems like an optimal setup.

Lyn, thank you for sharing this. It’s interesting to think about your situation. In my nuclear family with teens, I find it valuable to take alone vacations in addition to our family holidays. I get similar benefits.

My Husband used to drive for Lyft and would drive from Sothern Cali to San Francisco and be gone 2 weeks out of every month.

That made for some fantastic reunions, and it also allowed us to work on our own personal stuff more often.

it's nice to be so in love you can trust one another and be apart, but still be so close.

super cool post

It sounds like a very solid relationship between you and your husband. However I would have guessed that you don’t spend much time around people but rather focused on your work and studying bitcoin. I don’t mean this in a bad way, on the contrary, it’s a certain single-mindedness of real domain experts that vibes from your persona.

Imho this is very similar for people who work on open source software. Sure, you can post async and collab using GitHub etc etc, but it’s just not the same thing as talking to devs and meeting face to face for complex discussions. Video calls help for sure, but most open source dev is not structured that way or people prefer to be invisible. As an open source contibutor, I want to do more for the cause, but cannot because it makes me unhappy. No social aspect, no heartwarming thanks like you’d get from a real coworker at the office. Open source dev can be very frustrating too when discussions erupt between people who potentially haven’t even fully understood what you’re trying to say or do. And then your hard work goes nowhere or you need to constantly rebase bacause some other contributor with more juju got his work in before you could. Yeah, working by yourself, online, is not great. Traffic (or lack thereof) is awesome though šŸ˜‚

nostr:npub1a2cww4kn9wqte4ry70vyfwqyqvpswksna27rtxd8vty6c74era8sdcw83a makes some posts like this one exclusively on Nostr! Let's make Nostr better than the competition not just UI but content as well

nostr:nevent1qqs0yyzlc4zczng0ecfjwdemag3yjzvaa3zmj03y8w95pvymcknsagspz3mhxue69uhhyetvv9ujuerpd46hxtnfdupzp64suatdx2uqhn2xfu7cgjuqgqcrqadp864uxkv6wckf43atj860qvzqqqqqqym3p08f

Real community is extremely important… I’m also finding that out and want to engineer my life in order to have more participation in my real communities

love this šŸ’œ

What a lovely openhearted post Lyn. Even if social events can be take a toll as an introvert, being alone is far worse. I find it takes more effort as time goes on, but you are more aware of the cycles and can try to adapt to them. (Sounds easy but for me it's something to take a conscious choice for every time)

I deeply appreciate your willingness to provide glimpses into your personal life. Your writings, along with your insightful contributions to various podcasts, have always been highly valued by me. The wisdom I've gained from your teachings has significantly enriched my understanding, and your willingness to share so openly brings a profound depth and authenticity to it all. Thank you for your enriching contribution.

Thanks for sharing šŸ™šŸ½Ich love the thoughts

šŸ™šŸ¼ā¤ļø

Thanks for sharing - good insights.

Human contact is important as we are designed to be social. And putting boundaries around the social contact is equally important.

I affirm this feeling!

In my middle-age it seems harder for me to make myself vulnerable and stregthen my community social corcle but I know it is work worth doing

I’ve been coming to the same conclusions recently, Lyn. Thanks for sharing your experience.

Lyn somehow social networks and groups are an important point of interaction for people like us who are more inclined to reading, study and work than to an intense social life. It's the same for me when I'm alone.

love this. one of my most valuable lessons in life is to not expect everything from one person. nobody will ever be it all. nobody should expect that of you either. so one tends to have diff social circles that fulfills diff parts of interest - and it balances out

Interesting. I too am a introvert but I quite enjoy my solitude. If anything I find that I distance myself from friends and social life more and more as I age to the point where I find it difficult to make plans with friends and take time to go visit. It seems like a poor use of my time especially since I have so many other things I rather do that don't involve other people.

Sounds sad now I that read it, but perhaps the quality of friends I keep is less than desirable which is why I don't feel an overwhelming urge be around them.

this is šŸ‘

As an American-born son of Coptic Egyptian immigrants who is currently visiting Egypt right at this moment, I couldn't resonate more with your post. Thank you so much for sharing this!

and my wife is half-Irish and half-Egyptian and this is her first time in Egypt!

This sounds like a great balance. Of course it's a lot easier w/o little ones.

Thank you for sharing

Gotta love this new side of Lyn.

Thanks for sharing this with us.

I love learning a bit more about you. You're such an interesting person. Thanks for keeping it real!

Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I can relate to your experience of feeling lonely when you are apart from your husband and social circle. Social interaction is important for everyone, even for introverts. It can help us to feel connected, supported, and less stressed.

I think it is great that you are aware of the changes that take place in your mood and behavior when you are alone. This will help you to make informed decisions about how to spend your time and how to connect with others.

I think your goal of increasing your deliberate effort at spending time with local friends is a great one. It can be helpful to have a regular social activity that you can look forward to. This could be anything from going out for coffee to joining a club or taking a class.

I also think it is important to be kind to yourself during these times. It is okay to feel lonely and it is okay to miss your husband and friends. Allow yourself to feel these emotions and then find ways to cope with them in a healthy way.

Lyn, thank's for share with us this kind of thoughts. Appreciated

Lyn thank you for sharing your thoughts. Most of the time I'm inside my Bitcoinbubble and it#s really great to read different content from people who understand Bitcoin. I've never been in egypt and being honest I'm kind of scared to go there alone.

I've experienced the same with my wife. It's quite liberating, and it creates another level of trust and respect.

Thanks for sharing!

We can be frens šŸ«‚

Thank you for sharing!

I always read you with curiosity and attentionā¤ļø