Filed our taxes yesterday. At the very end, my accountant leans in like it’s some dark confession and says,

“I’m really sorry, but the Canadian government now requires us to ask… do you own any crypto? Bitcoin? Anything?”

After an awkward two seconds, I said:

“No.”

Because while the provincial, federal, and municipal leeches are already bleeding my fiat dry, I’ll be damned if I let them get their hands on real money.

They’ll just funnel it to Ukraine, gender nonsense, and greasy pockets—so they can fuck off and die.