Hosting your own is really the only way. I'm still trying to figure that out for myself and then my family.

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The Cypherpunks realized that they were the way forward, despite Chaum’s promising eCash technology (for which he wanted to keep his code private, not FOSS, thus NOT SOVEREIGN).

Stack on.

Nextcloud could be an option. You can even install that on a start9 server easily.

It's got most of what I want, but not everything.

I would like someone with better skills to fork nextcloud to use nostr keypairs instead of archaic accounts.

Nextcloud is slow buggy trash. I moved to synching, radicale,and miniflux to replace nextcloud and everything just works