Hm, idk. Not wanting to help does not mean you wouldn't be friends when you have your reason for it. Among friends, one person asks for help, and the other has an option to say yes or no.

I have been in a situation where I refused to help because I thought it would be like enabling. My grandma made a disapointed face at me for it 😅. It was about potential bad consequence which I did not want to be resposible for. But maybe this does not apply in your friend's situation.

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Lol no it actually does apply pretty perfectly here..

I guess I feel like "fear of enabling" is a little too close to "controlling other people's behavior based on my preferences" for my taste.

But I take your point.