Trying to solve is this:
Reduce the chance that normies, thinking this works like Signal, WhatsApp, everything else they've ever used, get scammed here. By way of a gaslighting attack that is unique to NIP17 groups, and, if undertaken with skill, could be very effective. Assuming there comes a time when normies start to use this, which I'm hoping there will.
This kind of gaslighting risk in closed-group ultra-private messengers is not normal, you have to admit that. Name me any other messenger in the category of ultra-private messaging that carries this risk? I'm open to the fact that one might exist out there, and if so curious what the UX is for this, but I haven't found any.
For solutions, what I'm saying is the only solutions you're touching on that actually have wheels are really complex. It's a solved problem and all existing solutions are really complex too, so that only stands to reason. There are no simple fixes that don't end up as security theatre in some way.