Not surprisingly, human relations are more complex than they seem when digging in. I see "obedience" as implying AUTHORITY. Husbands don't have authority over wife's in my view. Each have different gifts and inclinations and strengths that are supposed to synergize and play on each other's strengths. For me, the "trad" criteria is recognizing gender roles, of which leadership and decision making is one for men. And a woman recognizing that this is a role the man plays, also has her role in supporting, providing critical views for consideration where needed, and counsel, oftentimes follows because she doesn't wanna make the decisions and she had already been brought in the process. These roles overlap in different areas. There is also the dynamic of in the home vs outside the home, too much to expound on.